Work In Progress
by Foodie
Summary: Dr. Romano's life is changing after his accident, he's in love, but not with Dr. Corday!
1. It Begins

As usual, I don't own ER or the characters from the show. This takes place soon after the season 9 Halloween episode "A Hopeless Wound".  
Work In Progress  
  
Dr. Romano's day had been horrible. It started off with five hours of meetings that had run three hours late. When he made it back to his office, he got to deal with a stack of phone messages an inch thick left to him by his secretary. Later on in the evening, he went to his physical therapy appointment and endured excruciating pain for what felt like an eternity. Even though he'd received the bad news that he'd probably never be able to operate again, he hadn't given up.  
  
Robert "Rocket" Romano was a fighter. He'd known all along he would never fully recover, but the more he had thrown himself into his recovery efforts, the less he thought about it. That day had been like a slap in the face to him.   
  
Ever since then, he'd been even harder to deal with by the people who worked for him. Somehow, he felt less miserable when those around him felt more. This was his attitude as he walked down the stairs into the ER. He looked around for Kerry Weaver or Elizabeth Corday, or somebody else, anybody else, to lift his spirits. As he glanced around, people's faces darted in and out of his field of vision. He headed toward the Admit desk to see who was there when he came across a small group of people huddled in the middle of the hall.   
  
"Fresh meat," he thought, "The new med students, perfect!". As he looked at them, none really caught his attention until he came to the last person, her. She had an angry, defiant look on her face as she made eye contact with him. He was intrigued. She had the aura of a woman who'd never been told "no" in her life. She was the type of person born to rule over others and he sensed that in her.   
  
In a bold move, she walked right up to him, planted her hands on her hips, threw her head back and looked directly into his eyes. "Are you the man in charge here?" She asked, obviously annoyed.  
  
"Yes, in fact, I run this entire hospital," replied Robert. He returned her gaze, she never blinked.   
  
"My entire day has been completely wasted, and the other students' day as well. We've been standing here for hours waiting for instructions." She maintained his gaze as she shared this with him.  
  
Robert, not used to not being feared by people, wasn't quite certain how to respond to her. She was very annoying and yet he felt a certain need to be around her for some inexplicable reason. In a way, he wanted to laugh at her, but was actually worried that he might insult her. This was very unlike him, which he found even more annoying.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry you've had to wait all day doing nothing, if I'd have known you were here, I'd have let you go to my meetings for me." She did not appreciate his amused look and scowled at him. Something about that angry look on her face seemed familiar to him. He couldn't place her face, but she looked like somebody he once knew. He decided on another tactic, of appeasement, in order to find out who she reminded him of. "I'm sorry, Ms.."  
  
"Miss," she corrected him, "Knight, Anne Knight".  
  
"Knight?" He repeated. Now he could see it. She looked like Lucy, only younger. "You weren't related to a Lucy Knight, were you?"  
  
"Were?" She said, startled out of her scowl. "She was my cousin, but she was killed. How did you know?" She asked him.  
  
"I was here when it happened. I tried to save her..." his voice faded as they both knew how that story had ended. Suddenly, he felt the urge to continue his conversation with Anne more privately. "Listen, why don't we go up to my office and talk about your horrible day. I'd like to hear more about it."  
  
She nodded and followed him as he led her up the stairs, leaving the other students behind to fend for themselves. It was during this ascent that she noticed his left arm in the sling for the first time. "What happened to your arm?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Helicopter accident," He replied just as quietly.  
  
As they entered his office, something about this young woman made him want to tell her about himself. He hated this, when others had power over him. He hated feeling helpless and vulnerable. Mostly, he hated that it happened so often. "I'm also a surgeon here, or at least I was." He automatically placed his hand where his arm had been cut off; rubbing it like it ached.  
  
"So now you focus on running the hospital?" She asked. He nodded his reply. Looking at his tense face, his haunted eyes, she could see his soul. "You're not happy doing that. I can see it; it kills you not to be able to perform surgery anymore."  
  
Intimidated by her intense gaze, he broke away from her eyes and stared at the ground, his hand gripping tightly to the edge of his desk. She took the opportunity to look around his office. It was cold, with dark colors, a mirror into his personality. She saw the vast amount of weapons he had decorated his office with: a sword, a machete, a bow and quiver of arrows, among other things. She wondered what this fascination with weaponry meant. "What will you do now?" She asked him.  
  
"I don't know," he replied, his eyes still on the ground, a grim look upon his face.  
  
"You need something to throw yourself into. Something to devote yourself to. Why not teach? You can pass on your vast knowledge to the next generation. That would be some legacy to leave behind. Maybe you could take on a med student. For two years you teach that student all you know. Live and breathe for that student."  
  
"I'm not a resident. And I'm not exactly the teacher type."  
  
"As Chief of Staff, you could do what you want, if you wanted to..." Anne's voice trailed off.  
  
Finally looking up, Robert peered into Anne's eyes. They offered a challenge that he had to accept. "Are you volunteering to be that student?"  
  
Meeting his gaze, Anne tried to suppress a small smile growing on her face. She liked this man and could see herself working for him. "You may not want to work with me; I've been told I can be quite...difficult." With the last word, she tilted her head slightly and grinned at him.  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle, besides, you couldn't possibly be more difficult than I am," he responded, folding his good arm over his other and standing at his full height.  
  
Looking up at him, Anne saw the gleam in his eyes. At once she decided, "Yes, I'll be your student." She held out her hand, which Robert took in his own and shook vigorously.  
  
"I'm sure we're going to get along just fine, you and I." Together they walked to the door of his office and left. 


	2. The First Day

Chapter 2  
  
Early the next morning, Robert summoned the ER staff to meet Anne. He enjoyed the shocked looks on their faces as he announced his intentions of taking her on as his student. "For the next two years, we will be inseparable," he told Anne after the others had left. "You will by my eyes and ears in the ER when I can't be here. This will be perfect!"  
  
Anne didn't exactly know why he wanted her to act as his spy, but she knew he must have a good reason. "Don't they like you?" She asked him.  
  
"Of course not. I'm their boss. Not that I care what they think about me, but I need you to help me make sure they stay in their place. I have to be careful. After my accident, some people could use it as an excuse to take over my job. But I won't let that happen."  
  
Remembering the expressions on the faces of the doctors she'd met, Anne thought of the woman with the cane. Her look was a cross between astonishment and jealousy. "She's going to try to take your job. The woman with the cane. What was her name?" She asked.  
  
"Kerry Weaver. How did you know? She's been nice to me ever since the accident so she can try to oust me later on."  
  
"I don't know, I could just tell. I'm a pretty good judge of character."  
  
Dr. Romano gave her the grand ER tour, introducing her to all the nurses and desk clerks. During the tour, Romano's pager went off and he had to leave her to tend to other hospital business. He promised he'd return to her as soon as he could. In the meantime, Anne stood at the Admit desk, looking around.  
  
Abby Lockhart, the head nurse, came to the desk to grab a patient's chart and smiled at Anne. "So, you're Romano's new poor med student. My condolences." As Abby walked away, Anne was puzzled over her comments.  
  
Just then, Dr. John Carter came over to the boards to wipe off a few names. "Wow, so you get to work with Romano for two years. Yikes! How did you manage that?"  
  
"Actually, it was my idea. I can learn a lot from him." Even though Anne had only known Dr. Romano for a day, she already felt defensive of him. She'd heard that the student-teacher bond could be quite strong in some cases.  
  
"Well, good luck, you're going to need it!" John said, as he ran off to help with an incoming trauma. Anne simply couldn't understand their aversion to this man. Robert had been nothing but a perfect gentleman to her.   
  
One thing that Anne did not know was, as Robert's protege; she was in a unique position of power over the others in the ER. Even if Anne chose not to act as a spy for Robert, the threat of it would always be there. Nobody seemed to realize that, or if they did, they didn't care, nobody except Kerry Weaver. She held considerable power as Chief of Emergency Medicine and this new girl threatened that. Engulfed in the new trauma that had just rolled in, Weaver had no time to talk to Anne, but she would make sure she did as soon as she could.  
  
Anne watched everything, taking it all in. She was startled out of her awe by a ringing phone. Looking around and not finding anybody at the desk, Anne picked up the phone. "ER," she said. Two hours and twenty-five phone calls later, Robert came back down for her. He insisted that it was time for lunch, even though Anne felt she was too excited to eat.   
  
For her first day, Robert wanted to treat her to lunch at Doc Magoo's. Anne went happily with him across the street and sat in the booth he chose for them by the window. Robert ordered the double bacon cheeseburger, while Anne ordered the grilled chicken burger. As they waited for their food, they chatted amiably together. It was during this time that a red, curly-haired woman entered the diner.  
  
"Lizzie, come over here and meet someone," Robert called out to her from across the room. The woman cringed slightly, like she'd been caught, then slowly made her way to their table.  
  
"Lizzie, this is Annie, my new med student. Annie, this is Lizzie; one of the hospital's finest surgeons."  
  
"Annie?" Anne thought to herself. "A nickname, so soon? Well, it's kind of cute, so whatever!" "Nice to meet you Dr..."  
  
"Corday," supplied Lizzie. "Yes and it's nice to meet you too, Ms..."  
  
"Miss, Knight, but call me Anne or Annie if you like!" Responded Anne.  
Once again her name and the resemblance caused surprise to cross another face. "Of course, she knew her too," thought Anne.  
  
At this moment their food arrived, and Dr. Corday took her leave to order her own lunch. Anne sat in silence, thinking about her day. She couldn't help but feel put on display by Robert. It didn't exactly bother her, but it wasn't the best way to be accepted into this group of people, to be so set apart from the beginning.  
  
They continued to chat throughout lunch, then headed back to the ER where Robert had promised to spend the rest of the afternoon with her. 


	3. The Real Robert Romano

An entire month had passed. When Robert looked back, he couldn't imagine not having Anne around. They were good for each other. Anne learned all she could from him. Robert was slowly learning patience in teaching her. Robert was all together pleasant to be around when they were alone. He was, however, just the same as he ever was when she wasn't around.  
  
One morning Anne was walking down the hall when she heard Robert's voice, yelling at somebody. She couldn't make out the words. Stopping where she was and ducking behind a cabinet, Anne poked her head out just enough to watch him. Some poor nurse had made a mistake and he was making sure she knew about it. Finally, he stopped yelling, threw a chart at her feet and stomped off in the opposite direction from where Anne was hiding. Anne was shocked; she'd never seen him like this before. All of a sudden, thoughts of her first day and all the people who'd felt sorry for her came flooding back. Maybe that was why. Maybe he was like that to everybody. "No wonder they all hate him," Anne thought to herself.  
  
As Robert stormed down the hall, Dr. Corday stepped out of the elevator, having been paged for a surgical consult. He nodded to her as they passed each other. "Lizzie," He greeted her. He continued to walk, slowing a little, collecting his thoughts. Suddenly he stopped, turned around and watched Dr. Corday walk into an exam room.  
  
Robert wasn't sure anymore how he felt about Elizabeth. He thought he'd been in love with her since the day he'd met her, but it had faded a little over the years that it went unreciprocated. He remembered her wedding day. Mark Greene had been late for his own wedding and Robert had stopped in to see her and let her know that the guests were getting antsy. He'd told her she was beautiful and that Mark was lucky to be marrying her. In that moment, he had given her away, to the man she really loved. He felt it might as well have been he who'd walked her down the aisle.  
  
He remembered when she'd been pregnant with Ella, so determined to continue surgery. She'd risen to the challenge he'd given her and he had bought her pizza and ice cream, something she'd been craving during the entire surgery.   
  
He remembered only a month ago, on Halloween, opening up to her about his fears of not performing surgery again. So starved for affection was he that he'd caressed her cheek, which had made her uncomfortable.  
  
A small part of him still loved her, and always would. But now he'd come to see her as a friend, a friend he'd definitely have to get to know better. His only friend.  
  
Anne walked up to him and peered into his face. "Hello, where are you?" She asked as she waved her hand in front of his face. Startled out of his thoughts, Robert sighed and smiled a haunted smile at Anne.  
  
"You said we could keep practicing sutures, right?" Asked Anne.  
  
"Right, let's go."  
  
*****  
  
Robert spent hours drilling his techniques into her. When she made a mistake, they did it over and over again, until she got it right. He wanted her to be perfect. During this time, he would also quiz her on things for her classes, helping her with her studies. He lived and breathed for Anne and he didn't even realize it.  
  
*****  
  
One afternoon, during a lunch break, while Robert was away, Anne took out her battered copy of "Jane Eyre". She loved that book, along with many other books. She hardly ever had time for pleasure reading anymore and she took every chance she could get when the opportunity presented itself.  
  
"May I sit here?" A voice asked Anne. Putting her book down and looking up, she saw Dr. Kovac standing by a chair in front of her. The lunchroom was crowded and that was one of the only free seats left.  
  
"Sure," she replied, as he took the seat. Anne took a bite of her sandwich and looked at Luka. She'd heard stories about this man, about his sad past in Croatia, and his more recent amorous adventures. He looked at her and smiled. He was very handsome, but he made her feel uncomfortable.  
  
"I see you with Dr. Romano all the time. You must be sick of him by now," Luka said, grinning.  
  
"Actually, I really like being with him. I'm not sick of him at all," Anne replied coolly.  
  
"Well, if you ever need a break, I can help you study. Anytime, I don't mind," Luka smiled at her again and winked.  
  
"Well, thank you for the invitation, I'll be sure to keep it in mind," said Anne, as politely as possible. She began gathering up her things. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to practicing my sutures. See ya!" Anne called over her shoulder as she walked away.  
  
Anne spent the rest of the day practicing in the Suture Room, alone. 


	4. The First Noel

It was now the middle of December and Anne stood in the center of Robert's desk as she hung Christmas lights around his office. She hadn't bothered to ask if she could, knowing he'd probably say "No," so she'd just waited for a time when he wasn't there and did it anyway. She'd already decorated a small, realistic-looking fake tree with a popcorn and cranberry string and hung pretty glass ball ornaments on it. She'd hung a piece of mistletoe right above his chair, and now the lights. His office looked happy and festive, something she thought he could use. All that was left was the stocking and the pine garlands to put somewhere.  
  
Out of the blue, an angry voice bellowed, "What in the hell did you do to my office!? Get off my desk, it's not a stepping stool."  
  
Anne was so startled that she dropped the rest of the string of lights and stumbled off the desk onto the floor and stood before him. "You don't like it?" She asked him, an innocent look upon her face.  
  
Robert looked around. It wasn't over-decorated, or tacky. In fact, it was quite elegant looking. It was just so... feminine. "It's fine," was all he could say. Anne smiled, grabbed his hand and led him around the room, showing him everything she'd done.  
  
*****  
  
As the next couple of weeks flew by, Anne's days were filled with Robert showing her how to do IV's, central lines, and catheters. Robert loved nothing more than to show off his abilities to someone who never ceased to be amazed by him. He also truly liked Anne; he would now consider her a friend. He'd had a soft spot in his heart for Lucy, and now for Anne as well.  
  
Christmas Eve Day had finally arrived and Robert knew Anne would hardly be able to concentrate on anything. For weeks now, she'd been telling him all about the Pedes Christmas party she was in charge of. It had been her idea; she'd volunteered, and was very excited about it. She'd planned songs, games, and food. She'd hired a Santa to come and give out gifts to the children. She, of course, was to be Mrs. Claus and even had an outfit all planned out, which now hung in a bag, in his office.  
  
So, one could imagine Robert's surprise when he went into his office after lunch to find Anne sitting at his desk, with her head in her hands, sobbing. Alarmed, Robert walked up to her, shook her shoulder, and asked, "Hey, what's the matter?"  
  
"Santa bailed on me," Anne wailed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"He cancelled on me. Now where am I going to get another Santa at the last minute? The kids are going to be so upset. It might even be the last Christmas for some of them and I'll have ruined it for them. I'll never be able to live with myself." Anne sighed dramatically and wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling.  
  
Robert knew the party was in two hours, she'd never find a replacement. "Well, you still have a little time. You'll figure something out."  
  
"There's no time. I'm just going to go set up for the party. At least Mrs. Claus will be there," Anne said, as she looked at the bag that contained her costume.  
  
"Well, listen, I have to go do hospital business for a few hours, so if I don't see you before, have fun at the party, the kids will love it." With that, Robert walked out of his office, made his way to the bottom floor, and out the door.  
  
Anne changed into her dress, it looked just like the one Rosemary Clooney had worn at the end of the movie, White Christmas. Then she walked to the room where the party would be and started to set up the place.  
  
*****  
  
When the party started, Anne was a bundle of nerves, as she looked out at the sweet children all expecting to see Santa later on. They ate, sang, worked on art projects, and had the best time any of them had had in a very long time.  
  
The time came for Santa's appearance and Anne made her way to the front of the room to make her sad announcement. "Children," she began, "I'm afraid I have some bad news. Santa's reindeer got stuck in traffic and I'm afraid he's---"  
  
"Running late, but better late than never, right?" Interrupted a voice familiar only to Anne.  
  
Looking up, Anne saw Robert dressed as Santa Claus, with the bag of presents in his good hand. Anne's jaw dropped almost to the floor, her eyes grew wide. Then, composing herself, Anne smiled and ran up to him. "Santa, I'm so glad you're here!"  
  
Santa and Mrs. Claus walked up to the front of the room together. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" Santa said in a loud voice. Mrs. Claus set a chair down for Santa to sit in. "Have you all been good boys and girls this year?" Asked Santa as he sat down.  
  
"Yes!" Chorused the excited children.  
  
"That's good to hear, because I have presents for all of you!" With that, the children cheered loudly. Together, Santa and Mrs. Claus began handing out the gifts. They both delighted at hearing the children's happy cries at opening their presents.  
  
With what could only be described later, by Santa himself, as temporary insanity, Santa took over the party. He led the children in more songs, and told jokes and read stories. Anne made her way to the back of the room to talk with the other adults.  
  
"Who is that?" Asked one woman, knowing that Santa had cancelled on them.  
  
"It's Santa Claus!" Was all Anne would say.  
  
As the party wrapped up, Santa said goodbye to all the children and left, to go deliver more presents. It took a couple of hours to clean up the room, but Anne didn't mind at all. This had been the best Christmas Eve ever, and it wasn't over yet.  
  
Still in her dress, Anne stopped at the cafeteria on her way out. She needed a few provisions for where she was going.  
  
*****  
  
Parking in front of a huge house, Anne got a few things ready before she got out of the car. With her hands full, Anne slowly made her way up to the front porch. Ringing the doorbell made Gretl bark loudly. It was late, Anne hoped he was still awake. Finally, Robert came to the door, opened it.  
  
Standing before him was Anne: red dress and red cheeks, beautiful. In one hand she held a glass of milk. In the other, a plate of cookies. "Merry Christmas Santa," she said quietly.  
  
Blushing, Robert took the glass of milk and led her inside. Together they silently walked into his living room. They set the food down on a table and moved toward the roaring fire in the huge fireplace.  
  
"You don't have to worry, I won't tell anybody," assured Anne.  
  
"Thanks," Robert said, looking at the dancing flames.  
  
After Anne had warmed up, she looked at Robert. He had been so nice to her, what could she do for him? Any present she could buy seemed unimportant compared to what he'd done. Anne began to feel awkward, something she wasn't used to feeling around Robert. She thought it best to go.  
  
Robert walked her to the door, again in silence. As he opened the door for her, Anne turned to him, summoning up her courage. Suddenly she threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. She kissed his cheek, hugged him again, then drew back, and whispered, "Merry Christmas Dr. Romano". Then she turned around, and ran off, disappearing into the darkness.  
  
In a daze, Robert walked back to his fireplace and sat, watching the fire die down, until the sun rose the next morning. 


	5. Rocket's Red Glare

It was January; a cold, wet snow was falling. Robert came to work in the dark, left in the dark, and his mood was getting darker every day. He'd been harder to deal with after Christmas and was making Anne's life miserable. He yelled at her, made rude comments, and made her work hellish hours.  
  
One particular morning, Anne had been on the night before and had only gotten an hour or so of sleep. Robert came in in an especially foul mood. He hadn't been sleeping much lately either, but not because of his work hours.  
  
Anne was trying to stay awake by drinking coffee in the Doctors' Lounge when Robert came in. As he struggled to get out of his coat with one hand, he called out to Anne, "Hey, get me a cup of coffee, will ya?"  
  
Tired beyond belief, the last thing Anne wanted to do was to get back up to do a favor for someone who treated her so badly. "Get it yourself, I'm not your slave," was her response as she looked him in the eyes defiantly.  
  
"You're my student; you do what I tell you to do."  
  
"Not stuff like that."  
  
"What's your problem? I just asked for some coffee," Robert yelled at her as he finally made his way out of the coat. "Geez, must be that time of the month," He muttered under his breath, though not quietly enough.  
  
"You jerk; you're such a pig!" With that, Anne got up and left, coffee in hand.  
  
Robert got his own cup of coffee and left, in search of Anne. He found her in the Suture Room, cleaning up. It was a quiet room and Anne liked spending time there, it was a good place to gather her thoughts.  
  
For reasons even Robert could not yet well explain, he was intent on fighting with her that day. "Did you clean this place up? It's a mess. Do it again. Oh, and thanks for the coffee, it's really good!" Robert smirked at her.  
  
Anne slammed the equipment around in response.  
  
"Oh, by the way, I think I'll have you work tonight's shift too, is that all right with you?" Robert asked, just to see how she'd respond.  
  
Picking up a roll of gauze, Anne threw it at his head with deadly accuracy. It bounced off his forehead, fell to the ground and rolled away out the door. "So I take that as a 'No'," Robert said. "It's just that I feel you've been slacking lately and need more discipline to be successful. Working nights will help you with that."  
  
Anne's head throbbed and she knew she needed to leave before she did something she'd regret. As she walked past Robert in the doorway, she brushed against his left arm. He cried out in pain. "Stupid one-armed man," Anne muttered as she walked away. She stopped at the Admit desk to talk to whoever was there.  
  
Robert was left in the doorway, grabbing his arm, shocked at her comment. He'd pushed her to the edge and now she'd truly hurt him. His face flushed with anger as he walked down the hall towards Anne. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, and he didn't care.  
  
Walking up behind her, he grabbed her left arm and yanked her away from the desk. Continuing to hold on to her arm, he pulled her towards the elevator. He squeezed his fingers into her flesh, right above the elbow, Anne felt her arm go numb. She yelped in pain and surprise. When the elevator arrived and emptied out, he pushed her inside, then followed in after her. He kept his hand on her arm the entire ride up to his office floor. When the elevator opened on his floor, Robert dragged Anne out and down all the way to his door.   
  
Anne was trying to pry his fingers loose, but he was too strong for her. His right arm had grown stronger to compensate for his left. He hadn't realized until now how powerful he was. It was exhilarating and frightening.  
  
He let go of her arm to unlock the door. When Robert opened it, he grabbed Anne by the hand, dragged her to the chair in front of his desk and shoved her down into it. He crossed the desk and sat down in his own chair. His face was still flushed from all the exertion. He glared angrily at her, not knowing what to say.  
  
Anne rubbed her elbow, feeling the blood rushing back into her arm. She looked at his face and felt something she'd never felt around Robert before: fear. Anne had never seen him like this before and she had no idea how to deal with him.   
  
Robert got up, closed the office door and walked to the windows, shut the blinds tightly. He was so tired, he couldn't think straight. He still had no idea what to say to her.  
  
Anne's heart pounded as she waited for him to speak. Her head was spinning. "What's the matter with you? You've been acting like this since Christmas. Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"I just...I just need time. I...I can't even think anymore. I'm so tired. I'm so busy." Robert was still facing the window, speaking in a whisper, more to himself than to Anne. In fact, it seemed to Anne, that he didn't even see that she was there at all. With the windows shut, the room was quite dark and Anne couldn't see his face.  
  
"Whatever I did...I'm sorry. Maybe I should work with somebody else for a while. I guess we need a break," Anne said. Her heart filled with sorrow at the thought of not working with Robert anymore. "I can stay working nights so you won't even have to see me," Anne went on. With this, she rose, turned towards the door and walked out, leaving Robert by himself in the darkness of his thoughts.  
  
Two hearts were broken, but their fates had been sealed without either their knowledge or permission. It was only a matter of discovery by both of what lay in store for them. 


	6. Suturing Up Loose Ends

As his office door closed, Robert stood at the closed window in the dark room, thinking to himself. He twisted the plastic rod attached to the blinds back and forth, watching the room fill with light and then become engulfed in darkness, over and over again. During this time, he took stock of his life over the past few months since he'd met Anne.  
  
Robert just felt so stupid about the whole thing. "How could I be such an idiot? I could lose my job! Nobody's supposed to be involved with the med students, especially not the Chief of Staff! But I haven't been involved with her. I want to though, that's enough." But it was more than that: he loved Anne. She was a part of him and seeing her leave his office had been like cutting off his other arm.   
  
On top of all this, he was truly disgusted with himself. "Don't I have more self-control than this, to let myself get carried away? Sure I've had my share of loves and fantasies, but this was the first time somebody has ever loved me back. I've spent my whole career working to forget about not being loved. I know it's mostly my fault. I don't put much effort into being a person women could love," He thought, full of self-loathing.  
  
*****  
  
Dr. Corday had been walking down the hall to the elevator when she'd seen Anne leave Robert's office and begin running to the stairs, out of her sight. As she passed his office, Elizabeth noticed how dark it was. Curious, she walked to the door and stood quietly trying to hear anything. Hearing nothing but seeing the room lighting up then becoming dark again, she knew Robert was still in there. Elizabeth tapped gently on the door. "Robert, are you in there?" She called to him. Opening the door, she poked her head inside to see what he was doing.  
  
No lights were on, but she could see a silhouette against a now-closed window. "Robert, are you all right? I just saw Anne run out of here. What happened?"  
  
"Not that it's any of your business, but she's going to find a new teacher. I can't do it anymore."  
  
Elizabeth made her way to his desk, fumbled around to find a light to turn on. Finding one and switching it on, she looked at Robert, trying to figure out what had happened. She noticed details about him that Anne had not. His angular face was thin and gaunt. He had dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept in days. Two days worth of stubble was growing on his chin. He was trembling. This was not the Robert Romano she knew. He hadn't even been this bad on Halloween when they'd talked about his arm.   
  
"Why can't you do it anymore?"  
  
Robert looked Elizabeth in the eyes, turned red, and then looked at the ground. Turning back to the window, Robert tried to figure out what to say. He knew she could be trusted, Lizzie had no interest in his job. But he wasn't the talking type; he was more the yelling and throwing things around type. At this point in time, it was still too early to put his thoughts into words. "Maybe," Robert thought to himself, "the best thing to do is just put it all out of my mind; it's nothing I haven't done before."  
  
Seeing his unwillingness to talk, Elizabeth just stood with him in silence. She had an idea of what was going on, but didn't want to press him on it. He would tell her when he was comfortable with it. Knowing this had absolutely nothing to do with her made Elizabeth more willing to help him. In spite of all the horrible things he'd done to her over the years, she couldn't help thinking of him as some type of friend. Her "best enemy" perhaps. It could only be this feeling that could explain why Elizabeth walked up to Robert and put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him. She felt his muscles tense in surprise, then relax as he slowly put his arm around her.   
  
Unable to hold himself in any longer, Dr. Robert "Rocket" Romano began to cry. Tears of exhaustion, anger, frustration, and pain fell onto Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth held him, rocking him gently, like she did for Ella when she cried. In this small act of compassion, Elizabeth released herself from the resentment towards Robert she'd harbored for years, and started over again with him.   
  
Robert held onto Elizabeth and let himself feel the first true emotions he'd felt in years. His tears turned bitter as he realized that both his happiness and his future depended on a decision he had to make. One he couldn't make yet. It felt good to have a friend to turn to at this moment. 


	7. An Equal and Opposite Reaction

Anne walked out of Robert's office and began running to the stairs. She ran blindly until she made it to the ER. Slowly, Anne made her way to the Admit desk.  
  
Looking up from where she was standing, Kerry Weaver saw Anne approaching. As much as she'd tried to find fault with Anne, it was almost impossible not to like the girl. She'd never once used her influence over Robert for anything. She was a team player. Whenever Robert wasn't around, Anne would help the nurses, doctors, desk clerks; she wasn't even opposed to picking up a mop when the need arose.  
  
"Dr. Weaver, I need to know which doctors will be working nights for the next few weeks. Do you have the schedule?" Anne asked Kerry.  
  
"I sure do," Kerry replied, fishing out a copy from the desk, handing it to Anne.  
  
Dr. Kovac was the only one working nights the whole time. She knew he wouldn't mind her working with him. He would be getting off duty in a few minutes, so Anne went to the Doctors' Lounge to wait for him.  
  
Luka entered the Doctors' Lounge, walked to his locker, and began to get ready to leave. Without going into detail, Anne explained that she had to work the night shift for the next few weeks and asked if it was all right if she worked with him.  
  
Dr. Kovac grinned at Anne. "Finally had enough of Rocket, eh? Sure, I'd love to work with you." Noticing how tired Anne looked, Luka offered her a ride home to get some sleep before coming back to work that night. Too tired to object, Anne accepted his offer, against her better judgment. Luka was very friendly with Anne during the ride home. As she walked to her dorm room, Anne wondered what she'd gotten herself into.  
  
After a long day's sleep, Anne felt quite refreshed and was ready to face another night of work. It was while she was getting ready to leave that the morning's events hit her.  
  
Just exactly what had happened? A stupid fight followed by name-calling on her part, then being dragged into Robert's office. Her arm still hurt and there was a bruise growing where his fingers had dug into her elbow. Thankfully it was cold enough to wear a long-sleeved shirt to cover it up; it would be too hard to explain if anybody had seen it.  
  
He'd been so strange since Christmas. Her kiss must have had a strong effect on him. "He's not used to people liking him," Anne thought to herself. The memory of kissing his cheek made her feel strange. She'd replayed that scene many times since Christmas, and the only thing she would have done differently was to not have run away. He would have kissed her too if she had stayed. The thought made her blush even though no one else was around.   
  
She loved spending time with Robert and the thought of not seeing him made her angry. The one thing Anne hated most in the entire world was not getting her way. Now in a foul mood, Anne left for the ER.  
  
*****  
  
Dr. Kovac wasn't so bad to work with. Over the next couple of weeks, he let Anne work with more trauma patients than Robert did. Working the night shift wasn't too horrible either. The wee hours of the morning when the patients were few and far between, was a great time to have fun. Malik the nurse, Anne, and Jerry the desk clerk, invented many games, including gurney surfing, gurney jousting, and latex-glove volleyball, to help pass the time.   
  
Two weeks flew by, but Anne wasn't as happy as she'd have been if she'd still been working with Robert. She missed his one-liners that always made her laugh. She missed his drive for her perfection that made her try to please him. She just missed seeing him, being connected to him. She felt so lost now. Because of this, her underlying anger was always simmering, just below the surface.  
  
Anne resented Luka's forwardness. Robert was so standoffish that Luka's flirtations with her felt unnatural and most unappreciated. Luka thought Anne was very cute and he was always looking for a good time. He tried to make sure she realized that.  
  
While they were alone in the stock room one night, Luka's flirtations came on too strong for Anne and her anger grew beyond the boiling point and surfaced. How dare he put her in this position? Who did he think he was? She knew he was a man in great pain, but that wasn't her problem.   
  
Words entered her mind of what she would say to him. Anne knew they would hurt him terribly, but they had to be spoken. It would heal him.  
  
While Anne was turned away from Luka, she quietly asked him, "Luka, do you think they're proud of you?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your family."  
  
Luka turned slowly towards her, his eyes wide, his mouth open in shock.  
  
"When they look down on you from heaven, seeing you acting like this, do you think they're proud of you?"  
  
Luka was dumbfounded, rooted to the spot where he was standing.  
  
"I think, when they see you, you fill them with sadness, as you are sad."  
  
Luka's face turned red but he still couldn't talk.  
  
"You are all that's left of your family and all you're doing is bringing shame to their memory. You should be living to honor them." With those words, Anne walked out of the room, leaving Luka alone. As she walked down the hall, she heard quiet sobbing coming from the stock room.  
  
For the rest of the week, Anne floated around, helping out wherever she could, giving Luka the space he needed to heal. 


	8. The Secret Valentine

Anne was back to working days again, though still on her own for the most part.   
  
The day before Valentine's Day, Anne was up delivering a patient to the OR. When she had finished, she walked past Robert's office, which was closed. His secretary was out on lunch and for some strange reason, Anne felt compelled to look at her desk, just to see what was there. Robert's day planner was open on it. On Valentine's Day was the note: Dinner 6pm Dru.  
  
Dru! That was the fancy restaurant that pastry chef Hale Band worked at! He even had his own cooking show on PBS!  
  
Suddenly Anne was filled with jealousy. Who was he going with? And on Valentine's Day? Well, she'd just have to go check it out tomorrow night and see who his date was.  
  
*****  
  
Elizabeth and Robert had spent the last few weeks commiserating their lives together. His problems might not be solved, but talking about them to another caring human being felt good. They both agreed there was absolutely no way he and Anne could be involved if he was Chief of Staff. So when Robert's friend offered to set him up on a blind date for Valentine's Day, Elizabeth had encouraged him to give it a try. Robert reluctantly agreed. It was a way to start moving on.  
  
*****  
  
Valentine's Day came slowly for Anne and dragged on forever until the evening. She had looked up Dru's address and knew how to get there. She figured she'd show up at 6:30 or so and just see what there was to be seen.   
  
Anne made her way to the restaurant and saw Robert through the window. He was sitting at a table, facing away from her, alone. She could see him sipping a glass of wine and checking his watch. He turned around to look out the window and Anne had to duck down in order not to be seen. She crawled away from the window and went for a walk. "She must be late," Anne thought to herself. Wandering through the blocks, Anne thought about what she'd do when she saw Robert's date. Once again Anne was overcome by jealousy as she walked back to Dru's. Back at the window, Anne glanced at her watch, "7:15," It read. Looking in, she saw Robert, still all alone, at the table. He had gone ahead and ordered something to eat.   
  
"She's not coming," Anne thought, her jealousy dissolving, leaving only her love for him behind. She knew Robert must be feeling pretty humiliated right now and wanted to help him. What could she do? He'd die if he knew she was there. And, she'd get in trouble for violating his privacy. Anne stopped and looked at the menu posted by the door. Looking at the desserts, she found the perfect one.  
  
Anne carefully walked in and spoke to the hostess about ordering a dessert for Robert. It had to be done anonymously, so she told the hostess to say it was from his "Secret Valentine", the hostess was glad to help. As Anne paid for the dessert, she told the hostess, "Make sure he gets a cup of coffee with it, please. It's important," remembering their fight. Just as carefully, Anne left the restaurant and walked back to the window to watch. She watched as a waiter walked up to him and delivered one order of coffee creme brulee and one cup of coffee. Obviously surprised, Anne saw him question the waiter. Then he turned around again to see who'd sent it to him. Anne dropped to her knees quickly to stay out of sight, scraping them on the cold cement in the process. Again she crawled away, while Robert enjoyed his dessert.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning arrived and Anne was chatting amiably with Randi the desk clerk, when Robert came in. He walked up to the desk to see if there was any business for him in the ER before he headed upstairs.  
  
In either a daring, or suicidal mood, Randi boldly asked Robert, "So, do anything good for Valentine's Day?"  
  
"Not that you really care, but it just so happens that I had a wonderful dinner out last night," Robert replied, avoiding looking at Anne. He turned and walked away, Anne ran after him.  
  
Walking side by side with her hands clasped behind her back, Anne asked Robert, "Where'd you go?"  
  
"Dru's, it's this great restaurant. It's been written up in all sorts of magazines," Robert replied, looking straight ahead.  
  
"Really? I've never been there before. I hear they have great coffee creme brulee though. I'll have to go check it out sometime." With that, Anne walked into the Suture Room, leaving Robert staring after her, wondering just what she knew about last night's date that never was. 


	9. The Show Must Go On

The next morning, Anne went to her locker to put her coat away. When she opened the door, she was startled to see a necklace hanging from the coat hook. Who'd been in her locker? She'd locked it when she left the night before. Taking it off the hook, Anne examined it closely. It was a beautiful silver locket with flowers engraved on the front. It was kept on a silver chain that would fit over her head easily. Curiously, Anne opened the locket to see if anything was in it. A small piece of paper was folded up many times and put inside it. Taking it out and delicately opening it, Anne read the words "I love you," on it. Her heart fluttered as she folded the paper and put it back inside. Anne slipped the necklace on and put her things away.   
  
As she shut the locker door, Anne saw the picture she had hanging on it. Lucy, how could she have forgotten? She'd been so self-absorbed lately she had totally forgotten about Lucy's death almost exactly 3 years ago. Guiltily, Anne said a little prayer for Lucy and asked forgiveness for not remembering.   
  
Randi let Anne know Robert had left a message for her to come up to his office as she approached the Admit desk.  
  
Anne ran swiftly to Robert's office and knocked on the door. When she came in, she saw Elizabeth sitting in a chair. Anne wondered what was going on as she greeted both of them.  
  
Robert had decided it was time for the next phase of Anne's education to begin. He was going to train her to be the best surgeon in the world. After all, she'd have the best teacher in the world to learn from.  
  
Anne was excited and nervous to hear this. Third year med students did not get to do this, ever.  
  
Elizabeth took her to the women's locker room and showed Anne her new locker and gave her new blue surgeon's scrubs to change into. After she'd finished, Elizabeth tied Anne's hair back and helped put the surgical cap on.  
  
Walking out together, they found Robert waiting outside the door.   
  
"Well, what do you think? How do I look?" Anne asked Robert.  
  
Robert looked at Anne. The blue scrubs looked great on her. He could see how nervous she was and wanted to take her in his arms and reassure her, but he couldn't. He noticed his necklace for the first time. His heart was in that locket. As long as she wore it, he couldn't feel it breaking, but he had to keep it hidden. He walked up to Anne and gently touched the locket with his fingers. Then, picking it up, he lifted it to the top of her shirt and slipped it behind the cloth. Tracing the chain around her neck with his fingertips, caressing her smooth skin, he whispered, "You look perfect."  
  
Robert thanked Elizabeth for her help as she left for a consult in the ER.  
  
*****  
  
Robert began Anne's training with the basics. He taught her the proper way to scrub in. Anne felt like it took forever, but Robert assured her that she'd get used to it. Of course he wouldn't let her do anything on her first day, but he did let her go into an empty OR and showed her all the equipment, taught her the names and functions of everything. Later in the afternoon, they observed a splenectomy, which fascinated Anne.  
  
Robert could see the excitement in Anne's beautiful eyes and knew she would be a great surgeon some day. Perhaps, even better than he had been.  
  
From that day on, Anne wore her blue scrubs, even in the ER. Robert wanted her to be set apart from the others and was pleased to see that she was so willing to do this.  
  
Together once again, they worked, both learning from each other. While they got along, it was with a great, underlying sadness that their days passed. 


	10. Adventures in Babysitting

One slow Friday afternoon, Robert sat at his desk. Anne had called in sick, his meeting had been cancelled, and it was pouring down rain. This day sucked.   
  
He heard Elizabeth's voice, sounding frantic, outside his office. Getting up to see what the trouble was, Robert opened the door and stood in the doorway. Elizabeth was talking on her cell phone to somebody. "Fine, bring her here," she said as she hung up. Elizabeth shook her head, trying to figure out what to do.  
  
"What's up, doc?" Robert asked.  
  
"Ella's nanny got called to a family emergency so she's dropping her off here. But I've got a procedure to do in an hour and it's going to take all afternoon. And for some reason, Ella doesn't like the day care center. I don't think she's used to being around so many people," Elizabeth explained.  
  
Feeling uncharacteristically generous and bored, Robert volunteered to take care of Ella. If for no other reason than absolute desperation, Elizabeth accepted his offer. Ella had met him a few times, so hopefully she wouldn't be too scared of a somewhat new face.  
  
An hour later, Robert heard a knock on the door. Opening it, he saw Elizabeth carrying Ella in one arm and a bag the size of a suitcase in the other. Grabbing the bag, Robert helped them in the door.  
  
"Thank you so much, Robert, I should be done by 6:00, is that a problem? Everything is in the bag: clothes, diapers, juice, crackers, toys, books. She's had her nap but she could use a snack soon and usually has dinner around 5:00. Can you handle all of this?" Elizabeth asked, looking concerned.  
  
"Yes I can handle this. Go, we're going to be just fine, aren't we Ella?" Robert said, waving at Ella. She smiled a giant smile and held her arms out to Robert, which surprised him.  
  
"Ok then, I'll see you at 6:00. Mommy loves you, Ella! Bye bye!" Elizabeth waved and left, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Hello, Miss Ella, how are you today?" Robert had always been quite fond of children. They were so much more real and honest than adults were. Of course he could never show it when others were around, he had his image to maintain. But now he was alone, and could have fun.  
  
Setting Ella down, Robert opened up the huge bag to see what was inside. He pulled out all the books and toys and found the juice and crackers. Pouring the juice into her bottle, Robert handed it to her along with a graham cracker. Robert kept looking through the bag for something to clean her up with when she was done. Finally he found some wet naps.   
  
Ella walked around his office, apple juice dribbling down her chin, mixing with cracker crumbs to form a disgusting, slimy paste. Stopping at a chair, she looked at Robert, pointed to it, and said, "Up". Robert placed her in it carefully and watched her eat the cracker. The paste had traveled to her hand, from which it then got smeared all over the chair. He began to wonder what he'd gotten himself into.  
  
When she was finished with her snack, Robert wiped her face and hands thoroughly and then cleaned off the chair. It wasn't stained, but it was still sticky.  
  
Ella looked through her toys, picked up a doll and started playing with it. Robert sat down on the floor next to her and looked through the toys too. He found a little bottle when, if you turned it on its side, the milk disappeared. "Huh, cool," he said. "Hey Ella, does your dolly want a snack too?" He asked, holding the bottle out to her. Sitting down next to him, Ella took the bottle and began feeding the doll. Her hand-eye coordination was still a little off and she was actually feeding it through her nose, so Robert grasped Ella's hand and helped her put the bottle in the doll's mouth. Turning back to the toys, Robert saw a stuffed lion, another stuffed animal, something Disney: it was red and looked like a lizard, but he couldn't tell what it was. There was a little toy that looked like the front part of a car. It sat on your lap and had a tiny steering wheel, speedometer, odometer, blinkers, a tiny horn that actually honked, and gears that could be shifted. "We didn't have toys like this when I was growing up," Robert told Ella, placing the toy in his lap. He proceeded to push all the buttons and make all sorts of sound effects. "Get out of the way, road hog!" Robert shouted. He was happily driving along when Ella got tired of feeding her doll and found a package of crayons in the pile of toys.  
  
Robert glanced over his shoulder to make a lane change when he noticed Ella from the corner of his eye. She was drawing on his wall with crayons! "Augh! Ella no! We don't draw on walls!" Robert cried running over to her. "Let's find some paper to draw on," He said, pulling Ella away from her masterpiece. Taking a handful of paper from his desk, Robert sat back on the floor with Ella and colored with her until she got bored of that.  
  
"What do you want to do now?" Asked Robert. "Do you want to read? Let's read a book." Picking up the first one he found, Robert opened it and started reading her a terribly sad story about a baby bird that couldn't find his mother. He went all through town asking things if they were his mother. Finally he found her. Then he read a book about these dogs that wore crazy hats and had parties and went skiing. It didn't have much of a well-developed plot, but Ella seemed to like it. "Doggy!" She shouted, pointing at the picture, bouncing up and down.  
  
"I like dogs too, Ella," Robert told her. Looking at his watch, it said "5:00". "Are you hungry for dinner?" He asked. He was, even if she wasn't. "Do you want to go to the cafeteria for dinner?" He asked. Gathering her up in his arms, Robert carefully picked his way through the sea of clutter on his floor.  
  
The one thing he hadn't thought of was how he would carry her and get their food at the same time. As he walked down the hall to the elevator pondering this, Shirley the OR nurse walked past him, staring. Shouting over his shoulder, he said, "What, haven't you ever seen a man with a baby before?"  
  
Together Robert and Ella rode the elevator to the cafeteria. He was in luck because Dr. Carter was standing just in front of them in line. "Carter, help me out, will ya?" He said to John. John turned around; looking surprised as Robert thrust Ella into his arms and then cut in front of him. Robert got a tray and put a plate of spaghetti and a carton of milk on it. Paying for the food, Robert made John carry Ella to a table and stay with her while he got a high chair and set it up. "Thanks; you should get back in line before it gets too long," Robert advised John, sending him on his way.  
  
Twirling a single strand of pasta on a fork, Robert held it to Ella's mouth. She ate it, getting sauce all over her chin. He fed her and gave her sips of milk from the carton until she got full, then finished the rest of the meal himself. Wiping her mouth off, he lifted her out of the high chair and carried her back to his office, leaving their mess for somebody else to deal with.  
  
It was 5:50 when they got back to Robert's office. He couldn't help but notice it was time for a diaper change. He considered waiting until Elizabeth got back, but decided to try it himself. Laying a blanket on his desk, Robert laid Ella down and unbuttoned her jumper. He undid the diaper and folded it up; Ella kicked her legs in the air happily. It took a long time and effort with only one functioning hand, but somehow Robert managed to get a clean diaper on her and button her back up. As he lifted her to the ground, Ella laughed and said, "Dada!"  
  
Stunned, Robert realized how much he must look like Mark did to her. "No Ella, Robert, Uncle Robert."  
  
He heard a knock at the door and a head poked in. Ella cried, "Mama!" And ran to the door where Elizabeth picked her up and gave her a big hug. Entering the room, she saw how trashed Robert's office was. Setting Ella down, she started picking things up and putting them in the giant bag. Noticing the wall, Elizabeth said, "Oh I'm so sorry about that, I'll pay to have it cleaned."  
  
"Don't worry about it, I'll have a janitor clean it up," Robert replied. He told Elizabeth all about their afternoon, carefully leaving out the fact that Ella thought he was her father.  
  
Ella waved goodbye, grinning wildly at Robert as she and Elizabeth left for home. Elizabeth had seen how good he was with children and knew that he would be a great dad some day. 


	11. New Year's Day

A routine set in and time flew past. Days became weeks, weeks slipped into months, then all of a sudden, Robert looked at his calendar and saw that a year had passed. The weather had grown quite warm in the June Chicago spring.  
  
A year later and Robert still couldn't perform surgery. He had made little progress and wasn't likely to make much more. This grim thought was depressing to him. He was unusually quiet the entire day, even around Anne. Anne knew what day it was and gave him his space. She spent most of her time in the ER. Nobody else, with the exception of Dr. Corday, remembered what day it was.  
  
*****  
  
The day was slow and a group of doctors and nurses were in the Doctors' Lounge when the conversation turned ugly. Somehow, trash-talking Robert had become a popular topic. People vented their angry feelings about him. They made jokes about him. "We used to call him 'Rocket', now we just call him 'Righty'!" Drew a roomful of laughter.  
  
Anne couldn't stand this. And on this day of all days! The man wasn't even here to defend himself. She felt her face flush with anger as her hands tightened into fists. She had to defend him. Slowly standing up, Anne looked around, opened her mouth to speak but caught herself. She had looked at Dr. Corday, who seemed equally angry but had given her a warning look. Taking a few deep breaths, Anne said quietly, "How can you say such things about him?"  
  
Dr. Carter looked at Anne questioningly, "He's Romano, he's a jerk."  
  
"He is not; you guys just don't get him."  
  
Dr. Kovac spoke up, "The man is an ass, and he gets what he deserves."  
  
Anne's eyes lit up. Kovac should dare to speak; it was his fault Robert had lost his arm. Marching up to him, Anne trembled, afraid to do anything that she would not be able to stop. Screaming at Luka, Anne said, "How dare you say that! It's YOUR fault he got hurt! You can't say that about Robert, I l---"  
  
Anne was stopped midsentence by a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her backwards, out the door. She turned to see Elizabeth, whose eyes were wide with shock. "What were you thinking? Do you realize what you almost said? You have to be more careful," Elizabeth said.  
  
"I had to defend him. You heard the things they were saying, it was horrible."  
  
"People are entitled to their opinions though, and you know he isn't always the nicest person in the world."  
  
"But Kovac of all people. He had no right to say anything. He's the ass."  
  
"It doesn't matter; you have to be more careful. You could get yourself and Robert into a world of trouble."  
  
Anne spent the rest of the day in the Suture Room. She found the repetition of movement soothing.  
  
*****  
  
That evening, Anne went to Robert's office to see how he was doing, but he wasn't there. He always said "goodbye" when he left for the night, so she knew he was still somewhere in the hospital.   
  
On a hunch, Anne headed to the elevator and up to the roof. The door opened to reveal a cement rooftop under a beautiful orange sunset. Looking around, Anne found Robert standing, alone, in the middle of the roof. Knowing they were alone, Anne walked up to him and slipped her arm through his good arm and rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"This is the first time in a year I've been able bring myself to come up here," Robert said quietly, entwining his fingers in hers, squeezing her hand tightly. Looking at the ground where he stood, he told Anne, "This is where I was," turning and gesturing to another part of the roof, "and that was where my arm was. I saw it. But that's all I remember. You know, I've spent this entire day thinking about my arm, but right now, I don't even care," Robert shook his head in disbelief, "and I don't know why. I've spent the majority of this year feeling useless and worthless. I've worked through more pain than I've ever felt in my entire life in rehab, and it's hardly done a damn thing. Maybe it's time to quit."  
  
Unsure of how to respond to that, Anne changed the subject. She told him what had happened that afternoon. Robert didn't care what they said about him, but he was flattered that Anne had defended his honor.  
  
Standing together in silence, Anne asked, "did you make a New Year's resolution yet?"  
  
"What?" Robert asked.  
  
"This is like New Year's Day now for you. For the rest of your life, this date will be a defining moment for you. You're supposed to think of what you were like a year ago versus what you're like now. Are you worse? Are you better? What do you want to change? That sort of thing."  
  
Looking thoughtful, Robert slowly responded, "Well, I'm hardly the man I was a year ago. For months after the accident, I wished it had never happened, was angry that it had. But then, all of a sudden, it stopped bothering me. But I don't know why."  
  
"I didn't know you a year ago, but I bet you have changed a lot, even without knowing it. You may not be the man you were, but you're not the man you will be either."  
  
"But why do you suppose it doesn't bother me to not be a surgeon anymore?"  
  
"I don't know. You'll have to think about that and answer it for yourself," said Anne pausing. "Well, it's getting late; I should go home now. I'll see you tomorrow." Anne hugged Robert and kissed him gently before walking to the elevator.  
  
Robert stayed on the roof, thinking about Anne. She was the reason he didn't care anymore. He loved being a surgeon, but he loved teaching Anne to be one, more. He worked so hard for her, wanting her to be better than he was, because he wanted her to replace him. What was the appeal of being Chief of Staff? It wasn't the money, he didn't need it. He had enjoyed the power, until it had become a sacrifice to maintain his position. Robert contemplated stepping down, letting Weaver take over as Chief of Staff and Elizabeth as Chief of Surgery. What would he do? Take a lesser position suitable for a one-armed doctor? Retire? Did any of it matter? All he really wanted was to be with Anne, nothing else mattered.  
  
Robert made a New Year's resolution as he walked towards the elevator. At the most, by this time next year, he would make a decision he could live with, and carry it through. 


	12. Prank You Very Much

It was well into summer time, but Anne had decided to continue working instead of taking a well-deserved vacation. This had delighted both Anne and Robert, since the thought of being away from each other for three months was unbearable.  
  
It was a hot, humid day in August. Once again the air conditioning was broken so fans had been set up everywhere. Anne was helping Robert with paperwork in his office. The windows were all open, but no relief came from the still, outside air. Anne's hair was tied up but she felt hot and sticky. She was not suited for hot weather, it made her very cranky. The very thought of wearing scrubs made her want to cry, so she was dressed in a low-cut tank top, cut-off jeans, whose threads hung down and tickled her knees, and a pair of red sandals. Not exactly dress code, but Robert wasn't going to stop her. He quite enjoyed looking at her legs, and her tank top was most revealing.  
  
"Why can't we bring a fan in here? I'm roasting to death!" Anne asked, rubbing the sweat off the back of her neck.  
  
"'Cause it'll blow all the papers around," Robert replied, waving his hand at the papers spread all over the room. "Why don't you go to the Anatomy Lab if you're so hot, it's always nice and cool there?"  
  
"And hang out with all the dead people? That place gives me the creeps."  
  
"Then you probably wouldn't want to go to the morgue either, I suppose."  
  
Anne shot him a dirty look.  
  
Robert continued, "Why don't you go to the Locker room and take a shower? It's better than nothing."  
  
"Good idea, I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. I'll be back in a while," Anne said, heading for the door.  
  
Robert sat and thought. He knew Anne didn't like cutting up cadavers, but he hadn't realized how much she didn't like being around them. An idea popped into his head. He was curious to see how well Anne could take a joke and this was the perfect opportunity, seeing as she wouldn't suspect it unless it was Halloween or April Fool's Day. He made some plans and some phone calls and made all the arrangements for the next day.  
  
Then he sat back and thought about Anne taking a shower. It was a good day.  
  
*****  
  
The next day, Anne was in the ER, helping with various tasks when Robert approached her. "We need to go to the Anatomy Lab. There's a fresh body there and you can practice on it. I'll show you some new techniques," Robert explained to her, walking down the hall with Anne.  
  
Anne was holding a bedpan in her hands. "But I'm busy helping out. Dr. Kovac wanted me to help him with his patient," she said as they walked over to where Dr. Kovac was waiting.  
  
Taking the bed pan out of her hands and thrusting it into Luka's arms, Robert said, "Luka's a big boy, he can take care of his own patient. He's much better suited for that type of work. Besides, I have something much more important for you to do." As he said this, Robert looked Luka in the eye pointedly. Then he turned and walked away, Anne trotted after him to catch up, leaving Dr. Kovac to do the work himself.  
  
"What's so special about this dead guy?" Anne asked.  
  
"He died of a heart attack, so I thought I'd let you see what that looks like," Robert explained.  
  
When they made it to the Anatomy Lab, Anne scrubbed in and put a gown on. Robert explained to her what she needed to do, handed her a scalpel, and stood back to let Anne begin.  
  
Anne took a deep breath and stepped up to the body lying on the cold metal table. She leaned over the body to reach his heart. She was just about to make the first cut, when she noticed the body move slightly. "How long ago did this guy die?"  
  
"A couple of hours ago. He wanted his body donated to science, so I figured, why make him wait?"  
  
"How considerate of you." Anne went back to what she'd been doing. She could have sworn he'd just taken a breath. "Are you sure he's dead, it looks like he just breathed?"  
  
"Oh, you know they do that sometimes. Just ignore it."  
  
Anne pressed the scalpel to the man's skin, when his hand shot out, grabbed the scalpel, and he moaned loudly. Anne gasped, her eyes wide with shock. Suddenly the body sat up, grabbed her by the arms and picked her up, dangling her over the floor. Anne screamed, struggled out of his arms and fell to the ground. She turned around to see Robert doubled over with laughter, unable to control himself.  
  
Anne was fuming with anger. "Do you think this is some kind of funny joke? This is the...I can't believe...AUGH!" She growled at him. "That is the meanest thing anybody has ever done to me in my entire life! You are so dead!"  
  
Finally Robert stopped laughing. Looking at her, he said, "but it was so funny! It was too perfect; I had to do it!"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Anne calmed down. "You're right, it was a good prank." With that she walked out the door, a little too calmly for Robert's comfort.  
  
*****  
  
If Robert wanted to be funny, so could she! Anne thought about what she should do. Over the next few days, she looked around Robert's office for ideas. Leafing through his telephone book, she found his mother's phone number. Jotting it down, Anne came up with a devious plan of her own.  
  
*****  
  
A week and a half had passed and Anne had been really good-natured about his prank. Robert figured she was a good sport and that he was off the hook. He was wrong.  
  
One morning, Robert walked into the ER. The first thing he saw was a huge poster-size blown-up picture of his senior year high school picture, in full color. He was so young; he had a huge fluffy red afro with an afro pick sticking out of it. He was wearing a red tee shirt that said "Keep On Truckin'". He was giving the camera a goofy grin and a peace sign.  
  
Robert was absolutely speechless. He just stared at the picture, mesmerized by its awfulness. Finally his brain started working again, and he wondered how many people had seen it. He couldn't just take it down; it was high enough to require a ladder to reach it.  
  
Carefully avoiding the Admit desk area as he walked to the storage room for a ladder, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Turning to the message board on the wall, he saw another picture of himself. It was a black and white copy made on normal paper. The picture was of Robert as a child, about 3 years old. He was naked except for a cowboy hat. He had a bottle of juice in his hand and was sticking his tongue out at the camera. There was a caption at the bottom that read: "Hail to the chief!"  
  
Ripping it off the board, Robert looked around to see copies of the picture covering every window and wall in the ER. Walking around, he saw she'd put them on the doors, the lockers, inside the elevator, and who knew where else. "I'm going to kill her!" He thought to himself.  
  
Marching up the stairs, Robert pulled down as many pictures as he could. When he made his way to his office, he dropped the pictures on the floor and left again in pursuit of Anne. Ignoring the looks, whistles, hoots, and hollers, Robert went to Elizabeth and asked if she knew where Anne was.  
  
"She's in the locker room still," was her response.  
  
"Who else was in there?"  
  
"Nobody."  
  
"Good," Robert headed for the locker room and ignored Elizabeth's warnings as he stuck his head in the door. Seeing no one, he walked in, locked the door behind him, and looked around. He found Anne standing at her locker, waiting for him, with a huge grin on her face.  
  
"It was too perfect; I had to do it!" Anne quoted at him.  
  
"How many copies did you make?"  
  
"Only seven hundred," she replied. "They're all over the hospital. It'll be fun to take them down, like an Easter egg hunt!"  
  
"Where did you get them from?"  
  
"I made a little call to your mother, who seems to love showing off pictures of her beloved son!"  
  
"I can't believe you did this." Robert said, incredulously.  
  
"If it's any consolation, everybody thinks you're adorable." Anne grinned at Robert.  
  
"Everybody?" Robert asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Everybody," Anne replied, moving closer to him.  
  
Robert knew he'd gotten what he deserved. He couldn't exactly be mad at her, he'd started it. Besides, he truly respected her deviousness and the lengths with which she went to to pull it off. "Truce?"  
  
"Truce"  
  
Robert leaned in, kissed her, then whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry I scared you."  
  
Anne smiled, kissed him back, and whispered, "Let's go take those pictures down."  
  
Anne made sure the coast was clear before Robert stepped out of the women's locker room. Together they hunted for pictures and laughed at themselves. 


	13. A Bend In The Road

The summer was dwindling into fall. The days were growing shorter and cooler. It was on one such fine October day that Anne was working down in the ER, where Robert found her. Robert had been feeling under the weather for a week now, but he didn't want to go home. He didn't want to leave Anne alone, but he couldn't stay any longer, Robert was going to tell her so.  
  
Anne and Dr. Carter were standing in the hallway chatting, when Robert approached them. "Annie, I'm going to go home, I feel like crap. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"   
  
Anne looked at Robert, concerned. "Are you ok?" She asked. He was pale and sweating.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine," Robert replied. He turned to walk down the hall and doubled over in pain. Groaning, he fell to his knees, clutching at his stomach. John and Anne rushed over to him, Anne checked him over. He was soaked to the skin and burning with fever.  
  
"Let's take him in this room and check him out," John said, pointing to the door in front of them. Together, they picked Robert up off the floor, John holding onto his right arm, Anne with her arm around Robert's shoulder.  
  
They set him on a bed carefully; he leaned back against the pillow, groaning. Anne took his temperature. "It's 104 degrees!" She exclaimed. He kept doubling over in pain. "What do you think is wrong with him?" She asked John, looking worried.  
  
"I don't know yet, I'll have to look at him first. Let's get him into a gown."  
  
Anne unbuttoned Robert's shirt and peeled it away from his burning skin. He was so out of it, he didn't even realize what was going on. She untied his shoes and unbuckled his belt, and stripped his pants off. Laying the gown over Robert, Anne leaned over him to tie it on, then stepped back to let John examine him.  
  
John examined Robert's abdomen. Reaching his appendix and pressing on it, Robert cried out in pain and pushed John's hand away. "I think we have a hot appy here."  
  
"Has it burst? He hasn't been feeling well all week."  
  
"No it hasn't burst yet, but he needs to get to an OR soon. I'll go book one and we'll send him up," John said, stepping towards the phone.  
  
Dr. Weaver was passing by and stepped inside to see what was going on. Robert picked just that time to come out of his stupor. Looking at Anne with wild eyes, he grabbed her hand, saying, "You were always my favorite one. You're the prettiest one here. Annie, will you marry me?"  
  
Anne cringed, turned beet red, and clapped her hand over Robert's mouth to shut him up. Looking at Kerry, Anne shrugged her shoulders and said, "His temperature's 104 degrees, he's obviously delirious, and doesn't know what he's saying."  
  
Dr. Weaver looked suspiciously back and forth at Robert and Anne. One of Anne's hands was still over Robert's mouth and the other was trying to hold him still. He kept reaching for her necklace, pulling the chain around her neck until the locket slipped out from under her shirt. Grasping it in his hand, he began to calm down.  
  
Kerry knew they were extremely close, but she hadn't realized there was more than just student-teacher bonding going on. She decided to stay silent over this new piece of information for now.  
  
John and Anne wheeled Robert out of the room and up to the OR.  
  
*****  
  
Robert's eyes fluttered, trying to open, but the light was too bright. Finally managing to open them, he saw that he was in a hospital bed. He looked around and saw Anne in a chair, curled up, asleep. He tried to call out to her, but his voice was groggy and scratchy from the anesthesia. He made enough noise to wake her up anyway. Anne smiled and came to his bed, sitting down next to him. "How do you feel?" She asked.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We had to take your appendix out. You've been feeling sick all week, remember?"  
  
"Did they let you scrub in?"  
  
"Yep, no cutting, but I watched the whole thing. It was pretty cool!"  
  
Robert smiled weakly. "Well, I guess you can say you know me inside and out now."  
  
"You have no idea," Anne replied. "Go back to sleep, you need your rest." Anne kissed him on the forehead and tucked his blankets back in. Turning out the light, Anne went back to her chair and slept as well.  
  
Later that morning, when Anne and Robert were both awake, Anne told him all about what had happened yesterday. He apparently had no memory of it. When she told him what he'd said around Kerry, he grew silent. He felt as if his New Year's resolution was one step closer to being made for him now. He'd never felt more humiliated in his entire life. He might as well quit now, before he was ousted from his job. But more importantly, he was embarrassed that he'd actually said those things to Anne. He'd proposed to her! He couldn't believe it.  
  
Anne had left his room to get some lunch when Kerry arrived to speak to Robert. "What do you want, Kerry?" He asked, looking defiantly at her.  
  
"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Kerry replied. "You should be used to this scene by now, me standing over your hospital bed. This should seem familiar to you as well: I've arranged to act as temporary Chief of Staff while you recover. Anne, no doubt, will be by your side, nursing you back to health, until you can return." Kerry said this stiffly, as though she wanted to say more, but couldn't bring herself to.  
  
Robert had shown compassion to her on more than one occasion and while she would love his coveted position at County, she didn't want to see the guy fired to get it. After all, she truly believed, he genuinely loved Anne. It wasn't some torrid, messy love affair. Why should he be punished for finding the love and happiness she knew he had so little of? She wasn't going to rob him of that. But she was not going to tell him this. She'd just use her power over him when it suited her.  
  
Kerry turned and walked out of his room, leaving Robert to wonder what she was going to do. A few minutes later, Anne returned, sandwich in hand. "Dr. Corday says they're going to let you go home tonight. I can drive you if you want," she said, biting into her lunch.  
  
"That's fine. Dr. Weaver thinks you should stay and help me. I don't know what she's up to, but she practically gave us her blessing."  
  
"I can do that. We can get Elizabeth to keep an eye on her while we're gone."  
*****  
  
Anne drove Robert home. She helped him into the house and set him on his couch. Luckily there was a bathroom on the first floor, so he wouldn't have to bother with stairs for a while. Anne found pillows and blankets and set up a bed on the couch. It had been decided that she would stay at his house until he was better. "Do you have a spare bedroom?"  
  
"No, but you can sleep in mine."  
  
Anne walked upstairs to the room he said was his bedroom. Opening the door, Anne fumbled around for a light switch. Finding it and turning it on, she looked around. He had a king-size bed (big surprise!), with dark blue sheets. The walls were stark white and a dark mahogany hard wood floor spread out before her feet. A large window, closet, chest-of-drawers, and a desk by his bed were the only other pieces of furniture in this gigantic room. It was painfully stark and uninviting.  
  
Anne had returned to her dorm that afternoon and packed a suitcase. She walked to the bed and opened the suitcase, began unpacking; hoping her items had enough personality to fill up the sad room.  
  
Anne returned to Robert in the living room to see how he was doing. "Are you hungry? Do you want some soup?" She asked.  
  
"I don't think I have a whole lot to eat, I usually eat out or get take-out," Robert explained.  
  
Anne went to the kitchen and looked around. It was large, with stainless steel features, much like a professional restaurant kitchen. She looked through cupboards, drawers, and the refrigerator. They were fully equipped with cooking utensils that had never been used before, but there was hardly any food to be found. Shaking her head in wonderment, Anne walked back to Robert. "I could go shopping for you. Do you have any money?" She asked him. Robert reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and took two 50-dollar bills and held them out to Anne. She took them, grabbed her car keys, and headed for the store.  
  
Robert found the remote control and turned on the television. Flipping through the channels, he stopped when he came to one of his favorite shows, he watched it whenever he got the chance. Gretl came over and laid her head on Robert's feet while he watched TV. "Great, an Amy Wynn episode! With Laurie and Hilda, it doesn't get any better than this!" Robert thought to himself, watching the two groups of neighbors trade spaces with each other. "Purple paint? What is she thinking? Hopefully she won't put hay on the walls again," Robert thought to himself during the show. They were just revealing the rooms to the couples when Anne returned, grocery bags in hands.  
  
"Give me the change," Robert called out to Anne, eyes plastered to the TV screen.  
  
"Hello to you too! There was no change," Anne called back, her voice coming from the kitchen. "You had nothing, I had to buy a lot of stuff," she explained, heading back outside for more bags. After a third trip, Anne shut the door and walked into the living room to Robert. "What kind of soup do you want? I got a little bit of everything."  
  
Looking slightly embarrassed, Robert asked, "Got any chicken noodle?"  
  
Smiling, Anne answered, "That's my favorite when I'm sick too," as she turned back towards the kitchen.  
  
A while later, Anne reappeared with a tray of soup, crackers, and a napkin. She set it gently on his lap and went back to the kitchen. Anne spent half an hour putting groceries away and orienting herself to the room. Finding a nice saute pan, Anne cut up some vegetables and cracked a couple of eggs and made herself an omelet. She went to the living room to eat with Robert who was jealous over her dinner.  
  
Robert flipped through the channels until he came across a cooking show that piqued Anne's interest. "I love this guy, the Naked Chef," she said. "Only, it's kind of false advertising. The first time I watched it, I was really excited, but he was fully clothed the whole time! But he's still hot though."  
  
Robert chuckled and tried to stifle his laughter, it hurt his side. "Don't make me laugh! At least not for a couple of weeks."  
  
Later in the evening, Anne held Robert as they walked to the bathroom and back. She pulled the blankets over him and gave him a kiss goodnight before walking up to her room. Anne did feel a little strange getting into his bed, but it was soft and she fell asleep within minutes.  
  
A few days passed, with Robert's strength returning to him. Soon he could hobble around without Anne's help. He stood against the kitchen counter one afternoon, watching Anne cook. She took pride in her culinary artistry and loved having a huge kitchen to work in. "I used to work at a restaurant, before I got into med. school. I love it. I could teach you sometime, if you want. It would be fun to finally show you how to do something," Anne said.  
  
"Yeah, I could be the One-armed Chef: he slices, he dices...just not on people anymore," Robert sighed, a mournful look passed over his face. "It does look like fun though," Robert thought to himself. He watched her sauteing a pan full of vegetables. It was amazing to see them flip in the air like that; he'd always wondered how people did that. "It must have taken a long time to learn to do that," Robert said.  
  
"It took quite a while to get the hang of it. But I started practicing with a small pan, like that one," Anne explained, pointing to a pan hanging from a rack above the stove, "And a piece of bread. It's not as messy if you drop it. It took a long time, but I finally got it."  
  
*****  
  
A week flew by and Robert was ready to go back to work on Monday. Anne was sad to leave him, but it was time to get back to her duties at the hospital. Robert gave her a big hug and kiss as she left, thanking her for her help.  
  
Restless, Robert walked to the kitchen, took down the saute pan that Anne had pointed out last week, found a piece of bread and began to practice. It made him feel close to her, and it excited him to have an interest outside of medicine. It could come in handy some day. 


	14. Away In A Manger

It was now December and there was a feeling of both excitement and sadness in the air. Anne was now a fourth year med student, having spent an entire year with Dr. Romano. Unfortunately, her rotations would keep her away from him for the most part. Anne tried to keep that out of her mind as she thought about the Second Annual Pedes Christmas party.  
  
Robert and Anne were decorating his office together. Anne was hanging lights and Robert was trimming the tree from last year. "So, do you think I should book a Santa, or will the one from last year do it again?" She asked Robert innocently.   
  
Looking thoughtful as he sat at his desk to survey his office, he replied "I heard the one you got last year was the best Santa ever! I'm sure he'll show up again." Looking up, Robert grinned as he saw that Anne had put mistletoe over his chair again.  
  
"Well that's good, because I need to tell him what I want for Christmas," Anne said, walking over to his chair and sitting on Robert's lap. "I've been such a good girl, he should give me whatever I want, don't you think?" Anne put her arms around Robert and kissed him passionately. Apparently the mistletoe worked! Robert sat back and enjoyed the effect it had on her.  
  
*****  
  
The Pedes Christmas party was a success again. Santa showed up and stole the show, the children adored him. He loved to see the joy in their innocent, adorable faces.   
  
Robert was thinking about them while he changed out of his Santa costume, back into regular clothes, in his office. He'd never realized how much he loved children before this moment. His thoughts turned sad as they changed to Anne beginning her rotations. "There's no reason to even be here if she's not," Robert thought to himself, as he made his way to the door to leave. Thoughts of quitting his job danced in his head, not for the first time either. The only reason he was still there was for Anne. He'd never fully recover to be a surgeon again. The joy of power as Chief of Staff no longer appealed to him. He didn't need the money. There was absolutely no reason for him to stay.  
  
Steeped in his thoughts, Robert had forgotten his coat when he'd left his office. He was walking down the block, blindly, before he realized it. Shivering in the falling snow, he turned back towards the hospital to get it. He heard a strange sound as he walked past a cluster of garbage cans. He stopped and listened for a while. He heard it again, louder this time. It sounded like a muffled cry coming from one of the garbage cans. Walking over to them, Robert began lifting the lids to see what was crying. He was shocked to find a baby under one of the lids. The child wore only a thin shirt and a diaper; it was screaming and flailing its arms.   
  
Without thinking, Robert began to take off his shirt to wrap the baby in it. He couldn't get the sleeve off his bad arm fast enough, so he just scooped the baby up in the shirt material that was free and ran back to the hospital.  
  
*****  
  
Robert stood back, stunned, while the ER staff took care of the baby. He was quite a sight to behold. His shirt dangled off his bad arm, which throbbed from the cold. Snowflakes had caught in the hairs on his chest and were now melting, creating rivulets of water that weaved around the muscles of his chest and stomach. The cold caught up with him again and he shivered uncontrollably, his teeth chattering.   
  
A blanket was placed over his shoulders from behind him. Anne had been paged and came to be with Robert. Together, they stood, watching as the doctors and nurses tried to raise the baby's body temperature. The child, he could see it was a boy, wasn't an infant, he looked to be at least a year old.  
  
"Who could do that to a child?" Robert thought to himself, warming up from the anger that welled inside him. From deep within him, paternal instincts he never knew existed, crept to the surface. Robert walked up to the gurney that the boy was on, and grabbed his tiny hand, as though to comfort him. Amazingly, the baby calmed down and stopped crying, which drew a few surprised looks from the other doctors.  
  
"How is he?" Robert asked, eyes fixed on the baby.  
  
"His body temperature is stable. We've given him fluids and glucose to stabilize his blood sugar. He's doing very well under the circumstances," Dr. Lewis replied.   
  
Robert stood before the child, shaking his head. He could now get a clear look at his face. It was different from other children's faces. He had Down's Syndrome. "Somebody dumped him in the trash because he's different? This is why I have no faith in humanity," Robert thought to himself.  
  
The other doctors left Robert alone with the baby. They made the proper arrangements for him. Anne went up to Robert's office to get his coat after she had helped him out of his wet shirt. Robert looked around and saw a chair in the hall. He dragged it into the room and set it by a window, and opened the blinds to watch the snowfall. Picking up the baby, Robert sat down in the chair. Holding the baby, who was unaware of what was going on, against his bare chest, he watched him fall asleep, listening to the sound of his soft breathing.  
  
As Anne walked back to the room with Robert's coat, she stopped in the doorway to see what was going on. The image of Robert, leaned back in a chair, holding a baby, was a most unexpected, yet touching picture. Instinctively, Anne's hand reached up to grasp the locket she always wore. In the silence, she could hear Robert singing softly: "Is is okay if I call you mine? Just for a time...And I will be just fine..." She had never heard the song before, but the lyrics flowed so naturally from Robert's lips, that it seemed as though he'd written them himself.  
Anne stood at the door for the longest time before entering the room. Walking up to his chair, she laid the coat over the sleeping child and Robert.  
  
Robert knew that this child would probably end up being passed back and forth through foster care and end up being a ward of the state. He couldn't understand why he cared so much. This was all so unlike him! But, it seemed; he didn't really know who he was anymore.   
  
An image formed in his mind that made him smile. He saw Anne and himself, at home, in his large bed, laughing, with this child between them. The Sunday paper was spread all over the bed and Robert read the comics to the boy. This small vision took only an instant to be seen, but in that instant, it became everything he wanted in his life. He didn't need to escape in his career now that he had the true love and happiness he'd longed for his entire life.  
  
Robert sat with the baby in the chair, watching the snowflakes settle on the window ledge. For the second Christmas Eve in a row, he spent a sleepless night, lost in thought, until the dawn awakened. 


	15. The Road Goes Ever On

The day after Christmas, Robert sat down with Anne, to discuss their future. Anne was touched at the sacrifice Robert was willing to make for them. But she was sad that he had to quit his job.  
  
Robert was going to ask Elizabeth if she'd take over his position as Chief of Surgery. She was the right choice for the job. He knew Kerry was perfect for Chief of Staff, and somehow, being the one controlling whether she was or wasn't given the position, made it easier to pass it on to her.  
  
Over lunch, Robert, Anne, and Elizabeth discussed his decision to retire. Elizabeth accepted his offer, but she would be sad to see him leave. They had made a great team.  
  
Late in the afternoon, Robert paged Kerry to his office. He explained to her that he was going to retire and that the job of Chief of Staff was hers if she wished. Kerry was speechless, but quickly recovered her ability to speak and accepted his offer. He would give notice today, and in two weeks, she would be Chief of Staff.  
  
The next couple of weeks flew by as Anne and Robert packed his office into boxes to take back home with him. He said his goodbyes, and there was even a farewell party for him on his last day. When the party was over, Robert went up to the OR, walked through it one last time, did the same in the ER, and then walked out the door as Chief of Staff at County General Hospital for the final time.  
  
*****  
October 15, 2052  
  
This seemed an appropriate place to finish the story. We all know how the story ended, but it was good to see how it began. I have compiled this from the stories told by my father, aunt, and grandparents that I've heard my entire life. Since I have my own decision to make, over which medical school to apply to, I wanted to see what it was like for my grandparents, who were both doctors. From this came their story.   
  
My grandma Anne and grandpa Robert were married in June 2003. My aunt Stephanie was born in April 2004, my dad, Robert Jr., in March 2006. Grandpa Robert took care of the kids while Grandma Anne, and her colleagues, Elizabeth Corday and Kerry Weaver, built a female empire out of County General. It was something to be very proud of. They helped break glass ceilings for all women everywhere, including myself.  
  
I decided to include a lot of information on the Corday's since they remain good family friends. So much so, that Ella is in fact, my godmother.  
  
When my aunt and dad were old enough, they helped their father in his culinary interests, which he developed after retirement from the hospital. They spent hours cooking together, which inspired my father to open his restaurant.  
  
I was born in 2032, into a happy, thriving family. We are very close-knit, all living within blocks of each other. Grandpa Robert took care of the grandchildren as well, so our parents could build careers. He always had such wonderful stories to tell us about our family history which he felt was important to pass on.   
  
Grandpa Robert continued in his role as Santa every year of the Annual Pedes Christmas Party. It was the highlight of his year. He said it always reminded him of when he first realized he loved Grandma Anne. He even got all of us involved in it as well. It has become a lasting family tradition.  
  
My grandmother is 75 and still full of attitude. I thought Grandma Anne might enjoy this story because she's been missing my grandfather terribly since he died in March. He was 93, not a bad age! He lived a full life in those years. They'd been married for 49 years and were very much in love the entire time.   
  
I think it's the combination of both grandparents that has inspired me to enter medical school in a couple of years. Hopefully it will be just as rewarding. I just hope that my story will be as interesting to tell as theirs was.  
-Lucy Romano 


End file.
